UNPEC Declares Poverty is Now Over

End of Poverty?United Nations Poverty Eradication Committee (UNPEC) has just declared that global poverty has ended on its website early in this morning. An UNPEC high rank official told us in Geneva, “Certainly, recent economic growth and pro-poor distribution policies unexpectedly speeded up poverty reduction. But I would say the most important player was us.”

Having succeeded in raising 125 billion dollars in the stock market last year, UNPEC started implementing a universal cash transfer programme “Cash for All the Poor (CFAP)”. The programme simply distributed all the poor living below $1.25 poverty line all over the world. According to the official, thanks to this programme, poverty headcount ratio has reached zero.

Our Kenyan correspondent reports, “I can see a huge crowd in Uhuru Park to celebrate this wonderful moment. Everybody wears smile and see the brightest future.”

An Inconvenient Truth

UNPEC also announced, “We have decided to fire 1,200,000 poverty specialists since we do not have poverty anymore.” Several universities also closed their Master courses in development studies. Also, well-known journals and research institutes decided to terminate their roles.

Poverty specialists have been working for poverty eradication sincerely but now they see themselves unemployed because of it. Joe Kudo, young poverty expert, acknowledges mixed feelings. “Of course, I dreamed the end of poverty so should be happy with it. But I need to think how to make a live for my family.”

Support from South

Leaders from Africa and Southeast Asia respond this hardship for the ex-poverty specialists. The head of high level delegation just pledged 2 hours ago, “We are ready to establish a pool fund to support those unemployed specialists. This is part of our appreciation and respect for their work. The fund will transfer cash to their bank account tomorrow as retirement pension.”

The official continued, “The fund will transfer cash but those recipients are responsible for achieving conditions. We will pay for them based on their performance.”

photo credit: Steve Crane via photopin cc

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